FREQUENTLY ASKED CAT QUESTIONS

• my mission is to make sexuality wholesome again, bringing it back to its original purpose and context: romantic love, affection and desire to procreate with the one who best matches oneself and with whom one wants to share one’s life, responsibilities (, as well as one’s genes). This includes the serious pursuit of classical, romantic monogamy ♥ adapted to more futuristic and sex-positive ideals I’ll explain below.
  Sexual desire never comes as an isolate emotion, and the ones that matches it best are those mentioned above…
  If bitterness, revenge etc. are someone’s baseline instead, that means, someone has endured wrongdoings and that vicious cycle needs to be broken. Also:
  Sex = Marriage
• I want to set a public example of a good girlfriend and wife, from both the viewpoint of “outside the relationship” and “within the relationship”.
• I stand against great part of the sexual revolution/liberation movement that started in the 60s, because it doesn’t tackle the origin, purpose or correct context of certain legitimate desires and ways to express oneself
• I try to break false stereotypes and unjustified double standards, to reunite women and men in mutually beneficial ways, without ostracizing male instincts or restricting female desires
• I aim to revolutionize the adult industry, set the stage for future generations and give “porn” (I don’t like that word) a new meaning of artistic conceptual expression, beauty, therapy and responsible education
• I seek to be the bridge between conventional adult coping space (porn) and a real well-functioning relationship between the man and his future woman.
  I aim to lead men into a healthy direction, away from the modern degenerate development of porn addiction; unfulfilling, unlasting, meaningless or even absent relationships; adultery; errant objectification and violence against women, etc., but also fill in their hole of isolation and loneliness along the way.
  I want to be their teacher, their motivational coach, and help them overcome their social insecurities.
  
  I believe, the best way to lead a man out of the adult industry, is by approaching him from within that same industry, give in to some of his original desires, but then be different, make him think, hold him by the hand and show him the way.
  This differentiates me from any conventional sex therapist, as virtually, I give intimate support as well.
  Also, most men in need don’t seek out professional therapists until it’s too late… they’d rather go straight to the porn. And I catch them right there 😉
• I encourage, with no religious bias, the “sin”-forgiving path of healing instead of idealistically healthy sexuality. This means that I find it important to embrace the fact that nobody of us is perfect.
  We give our best to minimize risks, but mistakes happen and we try to learn from them, so we shouldn’t judge ourselves or others for doing them, or mourn too much.
  I think, fundamentally, there is a better and a worse path that might be similar for all of us… but we’re all unique in our history, experience and situations, so indeed, not only do our starting points, but also our paths and end-goals need to differ.
  Perfectionism NEVER works, and we might have weaknesses and peculiarities that we just need to accept and make the best of.
  Different people have been through different stuff, life is complicated and relative.
  
  We need to be kind, understanding, supportive and helpful, to all genders, all sexual orientations and people with all sorts of non-violent kinks or fetishes.
  Some kinks might actually be totally natural and healthy, and we as a society should learn to adapt to and normalize them (eg. non-heteronormativity, masturbation)…
  others might be indirectly destructive to the individual or society: Those we seek to heal from, without shame and in an integrative way… step by step.
  Then there is non-consent, violence and permanent harm… that we need to protect (potential) victims from right away.
• to my girlfriends only: I think you’re better off doing tease work (aware of one’s own necessity, options, goals, experience and value) when possible, rather than dead-end, free submission to someone other than one’s true and trusted partner… Because we can.
  In short, if you really need to choose: rather be a whore than a slut… or better yet – be a classy and sophisticated courtesan. Be a true witch rather than a bitch.
• At times, I could be found by people who are too young to (especially without guidance) be exposed to the existence of or have access to the dangerous adult industry as a whole… When those younger folks do happen to surf the web to knowingly or unknowingly find such materials (which, IMO not even adults should voluntarily or even leisurely expose themselves to), I want them to at least get to find a healthier counter-current example within the same industry, that leads them OUT again
• ultimately… coherence.

I’m an advocate for many more concepts, philosophies, actions, lifestyles… but they would be out of place here, so I’ll spare them for some deep talk moments 🕮

I reclaim the label “feminist” and want to reframe the concept.
I do consider myself a feminist, as I’m a woman who cares about the well-being of fellow women and myself. I am against all types of non-consensual – and “consensual” (!) – violence and harm against anyone, and that affects women for various misogynous reasons, as well as men, because “women and children first”.
More often than not, it’s women against women.

However, I don’t want to associate myself with most other feminists, because their method of trying to achieve this same well-being, vastly differs from my sexist approach (this word, sexist, is very often used wrongly by feminists as a synonym for misogyny or cruelty against women, which IT IS NOT.)

I’m an advocate for pursuing femininity, or what I like to call ‘yin’ (and masculinity ‘yang’, for that matter), as a society, and as individuals.
This, not necessarily to one’s maximum capacity, but up to one’s benefit.

Most “feminists” separate femininity from feminism, but I believe it is the core principle of living a satisfying life,
and stripping it away from a woman for the sake of “equality”, in the end, leads to women’s downfall.
This implies forcing or convincing a woman to act like a man, in order to be treated like one and have his same “rights” (or should we say ‘responsibilities’?) – because that is supposed to be the only way a woman has a chance to be as valuable as a man.

As women could never keep up with masculine standards, for biological reasons, and therefore would always be one step behind… they should embrace and cultivate their differences, thereby being as valuable as their male counterparts.
But, back to feminism: I want women to be treated well within their role, and that’s where I believe, it’s important for people to stand up for their own group, whether it’d be women, or men.
My way of handling this is to be anti-cruelty to women, or anti anything that threatens their life and purpose.

For this, we need men to see the value, the preciousness in femininity, and to protect it within us, thereby protecting us.

Now where does “empowerment” come into play?

I think this word is not appropriate for describing the goal of what women actually want to achieve to guarantee their well-being.

To me, classical power (the way the word is mostly used) is a masculine concept.
What women should be looking for, as that really lets them flourish, is protection through the power of men and the freedom that comes from knowing that they are taken care of.

Also, I think, restrictions imposed by (enlightened) men onto women, are not a bad thing, if they help ensuring a woman’s safety (given, that her feedback concerning the reasonableness of the restriction, is taken into account), which should be in the interest of MenKind as well.

With male domination comes male chivalry, which literally puts women on a pedestal, thereby assuring the “power” balance of the genders.

So is what I do empowering? As I encounter the male gaze, objectification and whatnot on the daily… I’d say not 😉
but I’m eager to discuss their beneficialness for a woman’s sanity in a chat with you^^

about advice or anything else that excites or worries you…
you are free to DM me and pour out your heart to me 💛